Rav Ebner zt'l - post 2
A Rebbe who taught love
It has been over a month since the untimely passing of Rav Ebner and I would like to share and try to convey a side of Rabbi Ebner that is extremely prominent in his teachings and the way he lived his life. Specifically, I am talking about love.
If you had asked me, post-Yeshiva, what I most associate with the teachings of Rabbi Ebner, I would have said mussar and Chasidut, focus on character improvement and care for others. I still believe this to be true. But Rabbi Ebner was full of love and conveyed it in many different ways.
To see Rabbi and Rebbetzin Ebner together, you would be hard-pressed to find two people with more mutual admiration, care, and affection. As with much of Rabbi Ebners teachings, he taught by example, as well as from the shtender.
Teaching love
Rav Ebner would teach of love of the other and love of The Other, God. The tenth chapter of Hilchot Teshuva of the Rambam was often quoted, taught, and mentioned. On the wall of his home, there is an artistic print of this chapter. Reading the 10 chapters of Hilchot Teshuva during the 10 days of Teshuva became the accepted custom of many of his students.
“Say the Rabbi sets up Harold, he says, “Harold, take out Henna Shprintza; you’re going to love her.” “All due respect, rabbi,” says Harold, “you can’t tell me I’ll love her.” “Just take her out, Harold!” he says back. “Just get to know her a little. Everyone who knows her, loves her!” This is מיד הוא נרתע לאחוריו and also the conclusion of this הלכה – מיד יעשה כל המצות מאהבה. The knowledge per force creates the love!!”
From a source sheet of Rav Ebner on Hilchot Teshuva Chapter 10. Rav Ebner through this (classic Rav Ebner parable) follows a Maimonidean approach to love.
Love in Poetry
All of Rav Ebner’s poetry books had a dedication to Rebbetzin Ebner.
There were many love poems in his poetry books. Some were directed to Rebbetzin Ebner, and several were written for the weddings of his students. The last book of poetry, Dance Words, was the title of the poem Rabbi Ebner read at my wedding.
Just before my wedding, Rebbetzin Ebner let me know her daughter is an artist and would be able to create an artistic ketubah for our wedding. At the time, we decided we were happy to have the standard ketubah, and nothing came from it. For my 10-year wedding anniversary, I recalled this e-mail and was able to commission two copies of the poem Rabbi Ebner sang at our wedding. One hangs on my wall, and the other at the Ebners. I was grateful I could find a meaningful way to show my gratitude and love for Rav Ebner.
